alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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