even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
