Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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