Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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