They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
