If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
