I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
