Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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