white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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