She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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