Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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