I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he shaved USA in his pubs
love makes seman taste better
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
last night I used snow as a chaser
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
