he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize