I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize