dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
