btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize