I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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