I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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