I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
