i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
