You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
