I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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