Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
