The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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