i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize