i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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