Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
