Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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