your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Please, let me fuck your mom
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
