Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize