i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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