we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
