After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
