I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She even gives head with a lisp.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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