we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
