Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Green mimosas i think yes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
