Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
