Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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