Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize