That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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