What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
