she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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