Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
