I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
that is very illegal...i love you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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