Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
false alarm, still single
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize