He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
