yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
