She's JV to your varsity
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
