I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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