The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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