We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
