I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
