New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
