come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
