What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
