Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
