If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
