from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
