ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do herpes really smell.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
