you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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