You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
