I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
