using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The air taste purple.
Randomize
