Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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