you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize