i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
