Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
