so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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