Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
