Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
