He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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