What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
