On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
