then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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