Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
