he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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